Ally? Get Over Yourself, Part 2

Here we continue our examination of Ten Things an Ally Should Know, as inspired by a piece by Jamie Utt. For numbers 1-4, click here.

5. Allies constantly educate themselves.

It is not good to have zeal without knowledge (the Bible said that). If you want to be an ally, you don't have to be an expert on every topic, but you should have some idea what you are talking about. If your learning is portrayed on a graph, the line should be climbing upward.

You should be learning about the issues facing the people you have allied yourself with, the history of their struggle, and the varying perspectives within the people group. There are a wealth of opportunities to learn, including books, articles, websites, organizations, and people.

Quick note: do NOT expect the people you are allied with to train you. Yes, by building relationships, you will learn a lot from friends and colleagues. But ultimately, it is not their responsibility to teach you everything you need to know. Don't arrive on the scene totally clueless and then lean on others to fill you in. Take the initiative and do your homework. Of course, absorb the wisdom and knowledge of LGBT+ people when they choose to share with you, but don't expect them to tutor you in matters you could have Googled.

6. Allies cannot isolate themselves.

It is easy to be an ally on Facebook or Twitter. Theoretically, you could post supportive messages and express your viewpoints online without even having a single LGBT+ friend. You could proclaim yourself to be an ally of a people group you never interact with.

But this type of dynamic lacks accountability. Aside from the complete lack of feedback, this sort of arrangement leaves you vulnerable to a disconnected and incomplete view of the world.

Don't get me wrong. This does not mean you should run out and make friends with a "token gay person." This is not about propping up your ego through connection to someone else, and we must be careful not to create a paternalistic dynamic or savior complex.

Rather than being an ally in isolation, seek meaningful relationships with LGBT+ people. A vibrant and diverse community will offer valuable perspectives, insights from a range of experiences, and the accountability of a well-rounded community. 

7. Allies do not need to be in the spotlight.

"Fear not, people! I'm here! An ally is in the room! Everything is going to be alright!"

We need allies. They play an important role in bringing about equality for all people. But, you should never be an ally for the sake of amplifying your own voice, promoting your own work, or putting yourself on a platform.

Your goal should be to truly support the community you are allying yourself with, not to make a name for yourself.

It's true that there may be times when you are put at the forefront of a conversation as an ally. Your privilege or position in the community may cause others to hand you the microphone from time to time. In those instances, it may be appropriate to speak as an ally, but ultimately, it is ideal for an ally to use such opportunities to turn the spotlight onto those who are being overlooked, ignored, and marginalized.

More to come in the next, and final, post...