Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin PART 3

I am nearing the conclusion of my examination of the phrase, "Love the sinner, hate the sin," but I do have a few more points I would like to make.

One problem I see with the use of the "love the sinner" approach is the sense of entitlement associated with such a position. Many Christians feel entitled to take this posture in relation to others without earning the authority to do so.

Many Christians have no problem saying, "Love the sinner (even the ones I have never met), hate the sin (which I have not personally witnessed)." There is a sense in which this phrase can be used as a blanket generalization, a default position for whoever walks through the door.

As I mentioned in Part 2, it is possible and often necessary to address harmful behaviors in the context of covenant community relationship. But this does not grant Christians the authority to assume this posture from the outset of every relationship.

Trust. Respect. Vulnerability. Honor. Love. These are just some of the relational dynamics that must be cultivated in relationship before we can begin conversations about personal sin. If we become fixated on "accountability" from the outset, we throw our relationships out of balance. True accountability can only be practiced in the context of healthy relationships; you are not entitled to accountability the moment you meet someone. 

When I shared my last post on Facebook, my friend Abby Glaser captured this idea well when she said:

Where I think Christians can get it confused: Yes, we are supposed to hold each other accountable. However, accountability comes AFTER relationship. We must establish the relationship first. So if I walk up to a stranger and tell them something they are doing is sinful, I am not holding them accountable but being judgmental. The people in my life closest to me have earned the right to call me out when needed, strangers or acquaintances have not. Judgmental is me telling you I think your actions are wrong. Relationship means I love you and want the best for you so if I see something that will harm you I will tell you out of my desire for your health and happiness.

One more post to come on this topic! Next time, we will discuss the problem of separating a person from their actions, and the shame that can result from double messages.