My Aversion to Pride

Jason Hanrahan is a wise and thoughtful acquaintance of mine, and a member of Equality Springfield's advisory board. In today's post, Jason shares about his perspective on Pride. This piece first appeared on Jason's website. 

by Jason Hanrahan

I've never been one to participate much in Pride celebrations.  I have used many different reasons since I officially came out to rationalize my aversion to the yearly season of rainbow flags, skin-clad participants and damaged livers.  I make my excuses and plan my events to purposely conflict with the nearby festivals in hope that I can get by one more year without falling into the ‘stereotype’ of being a gay man.

While I have always been aware of Pride’s history and the reason behind the inaugural event (I will let you research that for yourselves), I have always found its current state to be more damaging than helpful to the cause of showing the world that we are ‘normal’.  The internal struggle between whether I was standing up for a good cause or just denying myself at a deeper level has always existed and thus I chose to ignore it altogether.  I tend to do that when I don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to confront myself in any real way.

Recently, I have decided that those things that I stand so strongly against, are more than likely the very things I need to confront.  So, I reluctantly let some friends drag me out to the bars in Dayton this year on the Saturday afternoon of Pride.  The first bar we visited was packed and had its usual programming typical of a Saturday evening, just in matinee form.  Although the entertainment was the same and the drinks were being served as any other evening I would spend there, I noticed a palatable difference.  Not only were there families with young children, everyone seemed to have dropped the air of judgement towards each other and the outsiders that only dare show their colors during this yearly reprieve.  While I initially reacted in shock to there being young children watching the drag queens lip-sync on stage, I gradually grew accustomed to their presence and began to open my mind to what was going on. 

We made our way to another club that opened its doors for a special open stage event that afternoon.  This venue usually has one door you can enter through and requires their patrons be over 18 years of age.  Covers tend to more expensive because of the quality of the show and environment.  On this particular afternoon all of their doors were open, staff were outside greeting those who wanted to come in and entry was free.  We walked in, ordered our drinks and sat in front of the stage to watch the performers who signed up to show off their stuff.  Again, I noticed that there were families in the crowd and everyone was enjoying the afternoon watching their friends and relatives perform.

It wasn’t until the very end of the show when the host, Amaya Sexton, opened the stage for a dance break that I realized what Pride means today.  The crowd was hesitant to join her on stage so she had to pull people up to get the dance break started.  I noticed that she went over to a group of deaf individuals and invited a young girl who was autistic up on the platform.  The girl readily agreed and joined Amaya.  Then, a straight couple who were no older than sixteen years old hopped up on the stage.  A few others rallied behind them and when Amaya cued the DJ to start the music.  Once the music started, everyone on that stage fell victim to the rhythm.  Young, old, deaf, autistic, lame and many others were showing off their moves and enjoying their moment in the lights.  

That Saturday was a day for acceptance and love no matter who you were or your background.  There was a sense of community, not defiance.  I was blessed that day.  Blessed by the open arms that the bars extended to families and those young people who may not currently have a support system.  I was blessed by the way everyone was accepting of each other and what they had to offer.

My wish is that we start to treat every day as if it were Pride. 

Pride is Linked to Fight for Equality

Not only does Pride build a strong sense of community among LGBT+ people (and their ally friends), but the celebration is inextricably tied to efforts to bring about equal rights and equal protection under the law.

Today's post, by Jeff Roggenbeck, emphasizes the relationship between Pride and the pursuit of equality for all people:

The First Pride was a RIOT!

No literally it was a riot. June 28th through July1st of 1969 was known as The Stonewall Riots. These riots started at the Stonewall Inn which was a bar in Greenwich Village neighborhood (which still exists AND is a landmark for us all) when a group of bar patrons rose up against the anti-gay systems of the times and the police force that were "enforcing" the "Morality Codes".

Being gay was a crime. Dressing as a member of the opposite sex was a crime. Conversing in a flirtatious manner with members of the same sex would be considered immoral and would be somehow twisted into a crime punishable by jail time and public ridicule. Beautiful Drag Queens were forced to wash their makeup off in dirty mop buckets as their clothes were torn and ruined. 

Entertainment of any kind differing from those of a horrible moral order was destroyed. We entertained and met in secret. We hid from the raids. We stopped on June 28th.

The first punch was thrown. The bricks flew. We were rioting. We did not back down. We stood up against the forces of this skewed moral view. We organized. We grew together. We fought for our rights. We became united. June 28th, 1970 the VERY FIRST PRIDE event was held in celebration of our victories.

Remember these things as we celebrate. Remember that we have fought and continue to fight to the end til Equality is founded for all no matter our sexual orientation. Be strong, be proud, be United!

"Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning sexual behavior the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of realities of sex" --Alfred Kinsey

Pride Offers Community of Support

The Columbus Pride Festival and Parade is far and away the largest Pride celebration in Ohio. In fact, it is one of the biggest Pride celebrations in the Midwest. The event is hosted by Stonewall Columbus, Inc. and it has been going strong since 1981.

In today's post, Rick Incorvati, founding member of Equality Springfield, shares a personal account which highlights the supportive community aspect of Pride.

Rick says, I've got a Pride story, one that comes with a picture and video. In 2012, Equality Springfield had plans to participate in the big one: the Pride March in Columbus. We registered as a group, and folks agreed to meet out at the lineup. 

It was a beautiful day, but for various reasons, only a few members of Equality Springfield were able to find each other. Rick had the Equality Springfield banner ready to go, and he was set to march in the parade, but only three members of the group were present.

Seeing that the size of their group was smaller than expected, they wondered if marching in the parade was still a good idea.

Rick reflects: We looked at each other, looked at our banner, and decided we were a pitiful spectacle. Better to go find a spot along the march route and just be spectators for the day.

As the plans to march in the parade began to fade away, Rick and the other Equality Springfield representatives (Tai and De) happened upon some friends.

Equality Ohio is a nonprofit organization that advocates for LGBTQ people statewide. Equality Ohio was also present for the Pride March that day. Rick shares what happened next.

On the way up to the route, we ran into Equality Ohio, and I knew a couple of the folks there. Among them was Lee Reinhart (a peach of a guy) and then Executive Director Ed Mullen. They invited us to march with them, Equality Springfield banner and all.

Seeing that members of Equality Springfield were ready and willing to march, the group from Equality Ohio wasted no time welcoming their neighbors from the west into their company. How hospitable were the people from Equality Ohio? Not only did they allow Equality Springfield to march with them...

In fact, they put us right up front, patted us on the shoulders, and shouted "Equality Springfield" in their bullhorn. The day went from being disappointing to being transformational...

The triumphant spectacle was caught on camera! Watch the video here:

Rick continues, The feeling of marching down High St. in the center of the state capital on a beautiful day with crowds of supporting, friendly, and shouting people is not something I'm going to match again. The world had turned upside down. It was a gay world, a lesbian world, a transgender world, a friendly world, and it showed me just how much of a weight minorities carry with them day in and day out without ever realizing it. For one stretch of time, we were all there was.

Misconceptions about Pride

June is Pride month. Throughout the month, I will be posting various thoughts about Pride, including some perspectives from LGBT+ people and allies in the community. These Pride related posts will lead up to my own involvement with Springfield Pride on June 24th.

What is Pride about? What does it mean? These are some of the questions I'd like to explore, at least at a basic, introductory level.

But first, I'll tell you a little bit about my first impressions of Pride month.

I grew up just south of Columbus, OH, in a small town. There, I attended a Fundamentalist Baptist church. When Columbus Pride rolled around each year, it was not uncommon to hear commentary from my fellow Christians.

There was commentary year-round, of course. I am thinking of my Christian friends who called for a boycott of the film Finding Nemo because Ellen Degeneres was "a bad influence on our families." Or the call I heard many times from my pastor's pulpit, to boycott Disney because they had Pride day within their theme parks.

And when Columbus Pride came around each year, the event provided a local basis for further scorn and condemnation.

This blog will not be about these kinds of voices. I'd like to zero in on the positive, empowering, life-celebrating aspects of Pride, and to amplify the voices of those who have something constructive to say. But because this blog is intended for allies (or potential allies) who are new to some of these topics, I would like to take a moment to address some of the misconceptions I heard about Pride when I was growing up.

In other words, let's begin with what Pride is NOT.

The negative assertions about Pride fell into three basic camps. Here they are:

 

Yes, believe it or not, this was one of the most common complaints I heard about Pride from my pious neighbors. In the conservative Christian bubble, Pride was a flashy festival designed to "draw in" young people. The underlying conception was that LGBT+ people were trying to woo young people into a "homosexual lifestyle" by offering fun and excitement. In essence, we needed to be on guard because the Pride people were trying to capture the hearts and minds of our children and "recruit" them to become gay.

I feel a little silly saying this, but you know that's not how it works, right? People do not become gay because they went to a parade and decided it was a good idea. People do not become lesbian because a festival happened downtown, and people do not become transgender because "it's the cool thing to do, and everyone is doing it."

Or, a subset of this argument: Pride was about "making a gay lifestyle more acceptable to the general public." If gay people march in the streets enough, then more and more people will decide that an LGBT "lifestyle" is permissible.

It's true that increased visibility may have an effect on the community, and perhaps that effect might be a more accepting and kind attitude. But the sinister overtones are unnecessary. 

My peers tended to look at Pride with fear and suspicion, as if there was an ulterior motive behind the festivities, a secret conspiracy to advance some kind of sneaky agenda (more on that in a moment).

No, Pride is not about turning the hearts and minds of our children. No, Pride is not about convincing more people to become LGBT+.

But, imagine you were a young LGBT+ person who thought you were alone in the world. What would a Pride parade mean to you?

This was another common complaint among my conservative Christian peers. Pride was about wallowing in sexual perversion. In the eyes of my pastor, Pride was about brazenly displaying sexual activities which should happen behind closed doors, in the privacy of the bedroom. Pride was about flaunting lewd and scandalous behavior in public, with no regard for decency or "family values."

After all, on the news there was a person walking down the street... with his bottom exposed!

Okay, let's be real for a minute. It's true that you might be exposed to overtly sexual content when attending some Pride festivities. That dynamic does exist... a sense of liberation and exploration and celebration of sexual values which might not mirror that which is considered traditional in some circles.


But, it is helpful to pause for a moment before associating every Pride participant with overt sexual behavior or expression. The LGBT+ community, just like any other community, is broad and diverse. There are LGBT+ people from all walks of life, from a variety of backgrounds, and with a variety of worldviews. The ass-less chaps cowboy you saw dangling from the front of the float is a valuable member of the community, but he does not represent every person.

Pride is about openness and freedom, so you will see a wide range of expression. Pride is, in part, about celebrating this wide range. The point is not to make judgement statements about which types of sexual activity are permissible and which are taboo; the point is to acknowledge the broad spectrum that exists within our diverse community.

One quick note on promiscuity. In my church growing up, conversations like this were used to imply that gay people were more promiscuous than others, or that Pride participants were more likely to lead unrestrained, wild, or otherwise licentious lifestyles.

Again, the community is broad, so just like any group, there is a wide range of values at play. But, it should be noted that there is no evidence to show that LGBT people are more promiscuous than any other group of people. LGBT people are just as likely to be in a monogamous committed relationship as anyone else.

Finally, the third broad category of criticism fell into the culture war. Pride was about "forcing their agenda down our throats." Pride was supposedly about advancing some sort of cause, mainly taking away the rights of straight, white Christian people. "These gay people are no longer satisfied to stay in the privacy of their homes," the pastor would say, "They have to storm into our neighborhoods and force us to agree to their agenda."

In closing, I will tell you that I think the pastor was on to something. There is an agenda. There has been all along.

The agenda is to stand against discrimination. The agenda is to promote equality for all people, including minority groups such as LGBT+ people. The agenda is to affirm the value of every person, and to promote equal rights and preserve the dignity of people from all walks of life. The agenda is to raise the visibility of groups within our communities who may be overlooked, ignored, marginalized, or misconstrued. The agenda is to celebrate diversity instead of being threatened by it.

In the next few weeks, I will be posting some more perspectives about Pride, which means many different things to many different people. Maybe you will be able to attend a pride event in your area. Here in Springfield, Pride will take place on City Hall Plaza June 24th from 12-4. Stop by and see what's going on.